


stars

by scionofthelongproject



Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: Depression, Drug Abuse, Gen, Implied pedophilia, if you read between the lines of Sarah Lynn's life, implied molestation, season three spoilers, you know what's coming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 10:48:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9891332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scionofthelongproject/pseuds/scionofthelongproject
Summary: even the sun will fade out in the end





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cool, after the wreckage of season three, I STILL found a way to make myself sadder.

It's the stars she sees last.

  
The sound of Bojack talking is when she first notices the feeling that something is slipping away from her.

  
“This is nice, but I only like rectangular-shaped buildings…”

  
It's not a feeling she's had before; she's felt the oncoming sickness of praying to the porcelain gods, and she's felt the feeling of passing out from the glitter and ecstasy, both literally and figuratively, passing through her veins. No, this is new, and it feels… peaceful. It triggers a far distant memory of a picnic with her family, of making a daisy crown with her mother. It's before she was found by any agent, before Horsin’ Around, before her many pop hits, before her Oscar… wow, she has an Oscar.

  
She has an Oscar. Holy shit, she never thought she'd be here, be _alive_ , with an Oscar. The fact that so many people love her, follow her, listen to her voice and adore her… does nothing to fill the void in her heart.

  
But the feeling of Bojack at her left, the sound of him talking… that fills the jagged crevice that her mother made with her words and that her stepfather made with the flash of a camera. She leans against his arm, the calming feeling pulling more of her away into a realm of tranquility.

  
“See, Sarah Lynn, we’re not doomed-”

  
The words lift her, feed her dreams. Each sound of his voice builds her hopes brick by brick, laying out the foundation that she needs. No, she's not doomed. After this, she'll pursue her architecture dreams. Maybe after a few projects, she'll build Bojack a house he can be happy in.

  
“-in the grand scheme of things, we’re just tiny specks-”

  
God, he needs to be happy. She has heard too much within the last three… two… on this entire bender to think he's happy. She knows that he's miserable, but she also know that he's been happier with her. Sure, he's blacked out a lot and led them to the oddest fucking situations, but it's the closest she's ever had to a parent. She presses against his arm more, almost drunk, all pun intended, on this new feeling.

  
“-that will one day be forgotten. So, it doesn't matter what we did in the past-”

  
It warms her to hear him say that. She wants to let go of the past, let go of these addictions for once, and be real. She wants to pull off this stupid shirt and burn it while she's wearing footie pajamas with ducks on them. She wants to actually feel honest to God emotions and be able to express them in ways that don't cause her any more emotional pain.

  
“-or how we'll be remembered.”

  
That's fine. She doesn't need to be remembered. She just wants to live with the people who know her now, who know the real Sarah Lynn underneath all the titjobs and makeup.

  
Her eyes close, the stars still burning bright behind her eyelids.

  
“The only thing that matters is right now. This moment-”

  
She opens her eyes and swears she sees the stars going out one by one. She's at peace with everything around her, as the calm void swallows her.

  
“-this one spectacular moment we are sharing together.”

  
A tear falls down her cheek from the happiness she feels from hearing him be happy, and she closes her eyes again to rest.

  
“Right, Sarah Lynn?”

  
The final star burns out of existence, leaving her in a warm darkness that she welcomes. She falls down through the space, everything flashing before her until she sees this very moment, and knowing that she finally knows what happiness feels like, she lets go.

* * *

 

_“Sarah Lynn?”_

 


End file.
